How Blogging Became My Therapy

Amy George

By Amy George

I didn’t want to start blogging. Truth be told, I had absolutely no desire to do it.

It was November 2006 and I was about to give birth to my daughter, Lily Baker. At the time I was a news anchor at WHNT and my news director suggested that I start a blog while I was on maternity leave. She thought it would be a good way to keep people updated while I was away from television.

I didn’t want to do it. “How will I have time to blog with a newborn and an 18-month-old at home?” I thought. I knew it was going to be hard enough adjusting to life with a second child while my oldest child was so young. I had no idea how I would find time to update people with pictures and stories about my life as a mommy. And if I did, would anyone really care to read it?

I said yes anyway. I figured I would post a picture of Lily here and there, and then once I went back to work three months later, I would be done with it.

At first, I just blogged about Lily and our new life with two little ones in the house. I also used the blog as a promotional tool for our fund, the Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund at Huntsville Hospital Foundation. My husband, Chris, and I started this fund shortly after our daughter passed away in 2005. and it raises money for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Huntsville Hospital for Women & Children. I used the blog to get the word out about our fund and any events we had coming up.

But a funny thing happened along the way. I realized I enjoyed bloggin’. I enjoyed sharing my thoughts with other readers. I enjoyed how we swapped ideas. I enjoyed learning from other mothers who were – like me – just learning as they went.

Then my blog took a turn. I began to blog about Melissa. I opened up my heart in a way that I never had before. I talked about her life. I talked about her death. I talked about how much I missed her. I talked about the void her death had left in our hearts and lives. I blog about how unfair it was that Ann Catherine would have to grow up without her twin. I blogged about how Lily’s birth had saved us from so much sadness. I blogged about how our faith in God had gotten us through the tough times. I especially opened up around those tough anniversaries – Melissa’s birthday, Christmas, my birthday, Mother’s Day. I shared my innermost thoughts. I wrote things I had always felt but had never said out loud or put on paper – or computer screen, in this case. I sobbed as I wrote some of my posts.

As hard as it was, it was also cleansing. There were things I needed to say, things I needed to acknowledge. So often when you have lost a child, a part of you shuts down. It just hurts too bad to talk about your child and the loss that you feel, so you hold some things inside. Through my blog, I opened up and shared those things I had locked away.

Sometimes I would think, ‘Should I share this? Will people think I’m crazy?’ The answer was no, because many of my readers had also lost children. And they would post comments saying, ‘I know exactly what you mean. I have felt that way too.’ I realized that I was not alone. I belonged to a sisterhood of women. We were part of this heartbreaking, gut-wrenching fraternity - one we would never have willingly joined, but we had joined nonetheless. Our blogs allowed us to share our hopes and dreams, some of which had been crushed when our children unexpectedly died. We understood each other. We helped each other navigate rough waters. Cyberspace, of all things, had given us a way to connect.

My blog is now part of my life. It is something I enjoy doing. It has become a kind of therapy for me. I hope that one day Ann Catherine and Lily Baker will read it and learn more about their sister and what she meant to our family. The death of a child takes you on a never-ending journey of healing. My blog has made that journey a little easier.

Amy George is a former news anchor for WHNT NewsChannel 19. She and her husband, Chris, founded the Melissa George Neonatal Memorial Fund in memory of their daughter, Melissa Suzanne. The fund raises money for the Neonatal ICU at Huntsville Hospital for Women & Children. They have two other daughters: Ann Catherine (3) and Lily Baker (2). Follow her blog.