Happy at Home

By Phala Rasmussen

One of the many decisions a mother-to-be must make is whether she will return to work after her baby is born, or if she will begin a new venture as a “stay-at-home-mom.” Once that decision is made, you’ve had your baby, and you’ve survived those first few hazy weeks, you might wonder….what do I do now?

Since most women who decide to stay at home with their children were previously working, being at home with just you and your baby can begin to feel very isolating. I know that while I loved being at home with my new little girl, I also found it difficult to adjust to my lack of adult interaction.
That was over four years ago, and since then I have learned many lessons about how to stay very content in this new occupation of mine. The following is advice that I give to any of my friends who has decided to stay at home with her new baby. I think it is very helpful in keeping you and your baby happy at home!

One - Find a support system.

This is incredibly important for any new mom, and there are many groups available in the Tennessee Valley. There are various MOMS clubs, and support groups for everything from breastfeeding (Mommy Milk Meetups, LaLeche League meetings) to raising multiples (Moms of Multiples group).

If you are interested in finding a support group that also nurtures your faith, there are many Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) groups in our area. You can also check out the various women’s Bible studies in the Valley, many of which are geared specifically to women and offer a nursery and/or children’s program.

I have been attending Community Bible Study for the past two years. The first year that I joined my “core group” was just for expectant, new, or nursing mothers. We were actually able to bring our nursing babies into the class with us, and take our older infants and preschoolers to the nursery or children’s classes.

Perhaps the easiest way to establish a support system is just to seek out other young mothers around you. Reach out to your neighbors and friends. Get to know the other mothers at your church, your gym, or at the playground. It doesn’t matter where you find this support group…it’s just important that you find it somewhere!

Two - Stay busy with your baby.

The Tennessee Valley is FULL of places that cater to families! Even the youngest toddlers will love Biscuit’s Backyard in the EarlyWorks museum, and there is also a special area for toddlers at SciQuest. The Botanical Gardens not only offers an entertaining Children’s garden and Butterfly house, but they also have special events like the Scarecrow Trail every fall. The Gardens even has a “Stroller club” that meets every Tuesday morning for moms to stroll their kids around the garden, providing a way to exercise and socialize! All of these places charge a fee, but it is often very cost efficient to buy a family membership.

There are also many classes available to Moms and their babies. You can sign up for one of the many music programs available for babies, learn sign language along with your child, or play with your toddler at a Little Gym class.

Of course, you certainly don’t have to spend money to have fun with your baby! There are many parks and playgrounds in our area, including Kid’s Kingdom playground in Madison and Big Spring Park in Huntsville. (Be sure to bring old bread for the ducks!) I also like to take my kids to play in the children’s fountains at both Bridge Street Town Centre and Earlyworks Museum.

The library is always a wonderful place to take your baby. You can encourage a love of reading at a very young age! Most of the libraries around town have a story time on a regular basis, often with separate classes for babies/toddlers and preschoolers.

Staying active will offer your baby varied experiences and opportunities to be around other children, and will be a lot of fun for you both!

Three - Don’t forget that you are more than a mommy.

We all love our role as mothers, and most of us struggle, especially at first, to do anything that takes our attention away from our babies. We must remember, however, that we have other roles that are also important, especially the role of wife. You must continue to nurture your marriage by making time for your husband. Have a date night regularly, and try to get away for a weekend when you can. (If money for childcare is an issue, begin a “baby-sitting swap” with other friends who have children.) My husband and I have made this a priority, and it has proven to be incredibly beneficial to both our marriage and to our children, who have a mom and dad in a happy, loving relationship.

You must also continue making time for your friends. It’s fun to have playdates with your friends who also have children, but you also need to have that “girl time.” I began a Book Club for my friends who were stay-at-home-moms a few years ago, and it continues to be a time where we can catch up, laugh, and learn from one another. It’s also great to just have a “Girl’s Night Out” every once in a while, by meeting at a restaurant for dinner.

Finally, make time for yourself. This can seem impossible at first, but can be so important to your happiness…and your sanity! Whether you go for a run, get a cup of coffee, or just sit on the back porch and read the paper, try to do something for yourself. When you are a mom, you give of yourself all day and can get very burnt out if you don’t “recharge” every once in a while. I am pursuing my interest in writing, while I have friends that have taken pottery classes, joined choral groups, and played sports. Basically, don’t let “stay-at-home-mom” be your only definition. Motherhood does not define you as a person; it’s just a wonderful addition to who you are.

Being a stay-at-home mom has been a wonderful opportunity and experience for me, and I hope that other moms can have that same kind of happiness. By finding a support system, exposing you and your baby to various experiences and maintaining and strengthening other relationships, I believe you can be very happy at home.