Starting All Over Again: Busy Mom Has Fifth Baby in Her Forties

Can you imagine what it would be like to think you’re starting menopause only to find out that you’re pregnant? That’s exactly what happened to Kathy Selvedge – owner of Mes Amis, All Gussied Up and Goochie on Pratt. She had four daughters and was running a successful business when she went to the doctor thinking that she was beginning menopause. Surprise, surprise! She learned that she and husband Shawn were expecting baby number 5!

Keely was born last year on Jan. 21. She joined big sisters Sidney (23) and Reid (20) who are both students at Calhoun Community College, Eryn (19) who is at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, and Tori (18) who is a senior at Grissom.

Recently Valley Babies publisher, Glenni Lorick, had a chance to visit with Kathy over a delicious lunch at Shea’s Express.

VB: What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant again?
Kathy: My initial reaction was just shock. I truly thought that maybe menopause was starting, so I was shocked. Then I was scared to death because I thought I was too old and something would be wrong with the baby. I had the best doctor in the world, Dr. Sharon Callison, and she made me feel so good. She told me I was younger healthwise than some of her 20 year old patients. Of course she did all the testing to make sure everything was okay.

By 2nd trimester I was as excited as I was the first time around, so it was a whole progression of emotions. It was an absolutely awesome experience.

If anybody had asked me if I would ever have another baby I would have said “Are you crazy….I have my 4 kids and retirement plans…but I was so wrong!”

VB: How did the girls react?
Kathy: They were immediately thrilled. There was no shock, no being scared. They were thrilled to death. They all four went in the delivery room with me which was wonderful.

VB: You’re also a grandmother, aren’t you?
Kathy: Yes, I am, Sydney has a little boy, Jackson, who is 3 months older than Keely.

VB: What was it like being pregnant at the same time as your daughter?
Kathy: It was great. It was so much fun! We shopped together…it was like having a best friend pregnant with you at the same time. Now I keep Jackson 4 days a week while she works…I just feel like he’s mine, too. I think of him as my other baby…she gets kind of mad about that!

VB: How was this pregnancy different from previous pregnancies?
Kathy: With the first four, I was in my 20’s. I had all four of them before I turned 30. My husband and I were both trying to finish college. We were trying to look at our careers and figure out how we were going to buy a house. I look back now and think we were so dumb because we didn’t really pay attention to the most important things. You turn around and they’re twenty.

I don’t see a difference in how I felt physically. I’ve had great pregnancies. But emotionally and what I did with my time and how I cherished every moment of it is completely different. When you’re young you have way too much going on, and you rush through it. Every day of your pregnancy is so important. I can’t make that a strong enough statement

VB: Are you different as a mother now than you were with the girls?
Kathy: Very different!

VB: How so?
Kathy: In 2 ways. One is really cherishing every moment and enjoying every single day of my life. The economy and my stores matter, but not as much as she does. There is no way I will ever leave her and go back to my old career. I plan to homeschool her. The decisions about her life will be Shawn’s and mine.

The other way is that when I was in my twenties, I thought that everything they did was cute. A child would throw a temper tantrum, and I’d be like, “Oh look, she has a little temper!” Well that isn’t cute. You’ll raise a brat that way. I was a child raising children, then; now I’m an adult raising a baby.

VB: How is your husband different as a dad?
Kathy: It’s almost like we’ve reversed roles a little bit. When the other girls were little, I was more the one who would spoil them and think everything they did was cute, and he would be the disciplinarian. With her, he’s always holding her and kissing her…almost like a grandpa. He’s always been very involved with the girls, tough. He even knows how to braid hair (with 5 daughter you’ve got to know how to do that.)

VB: What advantages will Keely have that are different from what the girls experienced?
Kathy: She definitely has more mature parents. I almost feel like with Sidney, our first one, we were practicing. We’ve gotten better and better…As a parent, you make a mistake every day, and Keely has the advantage of our learning from those mistakes. Of course, financially, you’re in a much better place than in your twenties. Reid jokes that this baby isn’t gonna know who her mamma is with 4 big sisters, and there’s some truth to that.