A New Mother Reflects on Her Miracle

As I sit here watching my beautiful daughter play, I’m overcome with happiness and joy; an emotion I didn’t think I would feel for a very long time. Nine years ago, I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. In other words, I don’t produce any eggs – I had gone through menopause at the ripe age of 21. My sister had been diagnosed a year earlier with the same disorder and I was going to be a known egg donor for her. Through the preliminary testing, it was discovered I too had the same disorder. Lucky us! Apparently only 3% of women have this problem, and out of that 3% another 1% are found within the same family! My husband and I were dating at the time and the best way I can describe how I felt is that I wasn’t a whole woman. I couldn’t provide this man I loved with children. I remember having a conversation with him and telling him that I knew how important having a family was to him and if he wanted out, now was his chance. Of course, a year later, we were married… he said I was his family.

We decided to make lemonade out of lemons by telling ourselves that even if we could have children right then, we wouldn’t because we wanted to make sure we had time together as a couple and were financially ready to accept the responsibilities of raising children. I continued to see Dr. Honea at the ART Fertility Program of Alabama. We had to make sure I was receiving the hormones a typical woman in her twenties would have if she didn’t have this disorder. Egg donation was really our only option of conceiving a child. We had researched the possibility of adoption, but ultimately decided to go with an egg donor when the time came primarily for three reasons: adoption would have been more costly, I wanted the chance to experience pregnancy, and my husband could have a genetic child.

The time came eight years later when my husband and I decided we were ready to begin our family. The process to select an egg donor was exciting, yet nerve racking at the same time. We would essentially be selecting our child and some of his or her qualities. What did we want? In the end, we wanted a child most of all. Some of those qualities you think you want, don’t really matter anymore. The physical act of loving and holding our own child was what we desired.

We received several donor profiles in the mail that outlined the donor’s various qualities, physical characteristics and medical history. Once we decided on our donor, I began a mock cycle in which I took all the shots and medication I would as if I were ready to accept an egg. This way, the doctors and nurses could fine-tune any additional treatment I would need in order to achieve a successful pregnancy. The mock cycle lasted a month and once that was over, we waited a month and then began the real deal.

My husband and I have so much respect for our donor. She endured the same shots I did as well as undergoing the retrieval procedure. I remember receiving a phone call each morning after her retrieval letting us know how each egg was doing; how the embryos were fertilizing. We looked forward to those early morning calls and five days later, it was time for my transfer. I think I remember every detail of that day. We were nervous, excited, depressed (not knowing if this would work), anxious, elated… I went home after our procedure and just rested. I was so tired! We then had to wait nine more days to see if I was actually pregnant. Pregnancy thoughts consumed me night and day. I wanted this baby so badly. We went in for our blood test and received a phone call letting us know that indeed we were pregnant! How do you explain that emotion? Something we had waited so long for was finally happening! We weren’t out of the woods; I knew lots of stories of miscarriages happening so early in pregnancy, but our second miracle was my healthy pregnancy.

Our beautiful daughter was born to us at 7:55 am nine months later. She’s perfect. I always thought I would feel somewhat let down that she wasn’t my biological child… I don’t, and never have since the day she was born. I love her more than I thought I could ever love anyone. How do I ever repay a woman who gave me this amazing gift? She was selfless and wonderful and I hold her on a pedestal. I’ll never know who gave us this incredible opportunity. Maybe she’s reading this or maybe another egg donor is …all I can say is thank you. Those words seem so trivial for the gift you’ve given me and many others like me.

Donors at the ART Fertility Program of Alabama are provided education, counseling and screening prior to their participation. They will undergo ovulation induction and egg retrieval (non-surgical office procedure) to donate eggs. For more information, visit our website at www.eggdonorAL.com and complete the Eligibility Questionnaire in the Egg Donor section. Or, you may call 205-870-9784.